It crosses my mind that I should be like that Mama bird shoving her babies out of the nest to fly. Then I remember. My baby is already flying on her own.
As she’s heading to her second year of university it’s not as … I don’t feel like I’m drowning. Last summer I was holding my breath. As if I could stop time and hold on to my little girl. Then … she went to university and I learned that I didn’t forget how to be me.
Funny you’d think she was my baby heading off to university but my youngest has always been far more independent than his sister. At least emotionally because heaven knows I drive him far more to “things” than his sister!!
This is part of the reason that I started this particular blog. To focus on me. I’ve been Mom for (almost) 19 years. I cherish every breath of being Mom and look forward to what that’s going to be like in the next stages, For now, I’m rediscovering who I am without being someone’s Mom.
Today I read a blog post that has stuck with me. That it’s not as much about worrying that my little girl/young woman will be ok on her own as it is about me being ok without her.
This is when I feel myself expand, just a little, into the space she’s left behind. There are hours now when I am finally able to twirl in a circle of my own without scraping motherhood’s walls. – Lisa Sadikman
That’s what I’m doing in Just Breathe and Be Thankful… twirling in my circle. 🙂